BREAKING: President Trump Just Ended A War With One Phone Call

The small Latvian Sea nations of Caledonia and Matruski have been at war with each other since early 2015. The two countries, whose populations are about the size of New Mexico combined, have been killing each other slowly over a land feud with little chance of an end in sight.

Donald Trump, who has been told that he doesn’t have enough foreign policy experience to deal with a real-world critical situation, put an end to the struggle with just one phone call. After having his assistant Jeff set up a conference call with the prime ministers of both countries, not only is there an active cease-fire between them, there’s a chance the US will gain a new base in the region as well.

According to the White House Office of Information and propaganda, Trump’s phone call was short and sweet:

President Trump was very clear with the leaders of Caledonia and Matruski today when he made it very clear that if they continued their war, which is killing civilians at alarming rates, the United States would have no choice but to invade both countries and run up our flag over their capitals. Both countries agreed to stand down and agreed to allow a US joint military base along the border to squelch any further agression between the two.

President Trump is very pleased with theoutcome and has expressed that it is almost as fulfilling as his huge win on election day and the massive crowds at all of his rallies.

How’s that for a foreign policy, libtards?

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